“They think it’s all over…”

‘I live sweat, but I dream light-years. I am the sun, the rise and the fall.’ - Minutemen - The Glory of Man

You might have noticed that I Live Sweat hasn’t been updated for the best part of six months. Between my day job, my Punknews responsibilities, and the physical training I undertake to help manage my depression and anxiety, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to keep with everything. The day job and the training are necessary that I remain solvent and healthy, both mentally and physically, so it came down to choosing between Punknews and I Live Sweat, and the former won out, at least for the foreseeable future.

As proud as I am of what was achieved through this webzine, especially the sexism in punk series which was an absolute honour to instigate and curate, I felt a great deal of responsibility to my contributors and the community, and it was quite stressful at times, and not conducive to recovering from an anxiety disorder.

In my role as editor at Punknews, I’m part of a team of committed volunteers, and while there’s stress in that too, there’s also a support structure. I still get to shine a spotlight on bands I think aren’t getting enough attention, and I still get to shine that spotlight on the issues of gender politics we covered here, only now I’m doing it as a volunteer journalist, as opposed to a polemicist. The form is different, but the mechanism is essentially the same, in that I can find someone rocking the boat, and give them the signal boost they deserve. The key difference is that I’m doing it with friends, and that means everything to me.

I was in two minds about writing this piece, as I had thought it best to just let it lie, and slink away quietly, because the best of I Live Sweat was never about me, but about the people who took the time to write for us, and put themselves under considerable scrutiny in the process. Having said that, this project was absolutely instrumental in my ongoing recovery from depression and anxiety. It gave me a chance to be active and effective from the edge of my bed, when panic attacks, and the fear of such, were stopping me living my life as I’d have liked to, and it gave me the confidence and the self esteem that the depression robbed from me, and allowed me to start to rebuild myself while engaging with the two (non-mammalian) things I love most, punk rock and comics. For that reason, I want to thank each and every one of you who read, shared, agreed, argued, and especially contributed.

It’s been an absolute privilege. Thank you all.

Andy

Andy Waterfield remains a Marmite fanatic from South Leicestershire. He is part of the editorial staff at Punknews.org, and will shortly be joining the staff at Noncanonical.com as a columnist, because he has altogether too much to say about comics. He tweets at @andywritesstuff, and writing about himself in the third person makes him grin from ear to ear.